Yesterday, I accidentally brushed my teeth with some of B's hair removing cream. It was in a tube, closely resembling toothpaste, next to the sink. My teeth, gums and palate are now completely glabrous. And B's shins are sparkling white.
Over the last few weeks some friends and I have been experimenting in the blogosphere with some fairly funny (we think!) writing about a fictitious village called Pranker's Wycke. On one level, all seems painfully innocent and typical of village life as charted by any local rag. If approached with a degree of broad mindedness and a desire to read between the lines however, the use of spoonerism and innuendo opens up a whole new level of interpretation.
Having had a number of attempts to drum up some interest on the BBC Radio 4 comedy message boards fall foul of "house rules", I'm reminded of an old Viz reader's letter, in which the author was complaining about a tin of alphabet spaghetti. He (or she) had been able to spell some grotesque swear words and was insisting that children be protected from such filth, presumably through a ban on the product.
We've had a huge amount of fun writing Blunghole's Meme and a growing number of people appear to enjoy both reading and contributing to the unfolding stories. As for polluting the minds of our readers, I suspect the rot set in long before Pranker's Wycke had an online noticeboard!
Yesterday, on our way to the hospital for a scan, we got a flat tyre. It took me the best part of the morning on the phone to ATS to find a local depot with a replacement in stock. I always seem to be forced to haemorrhage time when I can least afford to be a clock donor. Having found a place, waited the standard "20 minutes mate - max" which turned into 2 hours, got the tyre replaced and ventured back onto the roads, I very nearly ran out of fuel. One of those bunny hopping onto the forecourt running on fumes moments. Today, I was at the top of Fleet Street driving onto the Strand when I got hit by a bus (scraped probably a better description).
So, if you are planning to be on the road Thursday evening this week, in and around London, be warned. I will be driving home, and clearly should be avoided at all costs.
I stumbled across Stefan G. Bucher in the blogosphere. He draws a daily monster, video blogs it and invites comments. Fantastic.
Next April, barring unexpected problems, there will be another mouth to feed in our house. This will mean another period of maternity leave for B, and inevitably we will have to tighten our belts. B mentioned this morning that she worries about our ability to live more frugally and use less resources. I tried to reassure her, pointing out that our lifestyle is fairly modest. I also reminded her that we've been purposefully saving to help us through lean times.
B returned from the supermarket just before lunch. I helped unpack the shopping. Based on our earlier conversation, I was surprised to find a packet of Tesco Finest Ground Beef Steak.
"I just can't stand cheap mince," she said.
My friend Mark writes and performs as Genetichigh. Four tracks from his album Momentum are up on myspace - have a listen. I particularly like "precious thing" - and before any League fans get over excited, there is no Tubbs and Edward link (none that I've picked up on anyway).
Bandwagoning has undergone some cosmetic surgery post migration to Blogger in beta. The skin is dead. Long live the skin.
Ref the new skin. Let me know what you think - how does it read? How easy is it to navigate? What don't you like? Not that I'll be able to change much - I'm way past my technical limit in the blogosphere (although I'm learning - fast)
I migrated to Blogger in beta yesterday. It was a torturous experience. If you subscribe to Bandwagoning's RSS feed and have been bombarded with updates, rest assured the end is nigh. I hope.
The idea is simple. A virtual group of runners from fetcheveryone all commit to running a sub 4:00 hour marathon in 2007. It works because I've made a public statement of intent. I will get fit again and shed some winter layers as I train. Twice before I've come within 15 minutes of the 4:00 hour threshold. In 2007 I will cross it.
It's getting to that time of year, when pure comedy can be found simply by walking the streets at night*. I am of course referring to the increasing abundance of houses that are lit up like fairground attractions as the festive period approaches. Each year, I continue to be amazed at the lengths some people will go to put a smile on my face. The more grotesque and ostentatious the display, the more I feel compelled to stop and soak up the pageantry.
If you see any spectacles you think I'd appreciate, please do blog them and link back in a comment.
*this can also get you beaten up or arrested for soliciting, so if you do go looking for illuminations, do it safely.
Great find by Joel and then Euan. You might think twice before doing some bus lane tailgating if you take a look at this.
B said to me a few days back that one of her friends was having to let her cleaner go. "Oh that's a shame", I murmured, only half listening.
"Which means we can have her!", continued B. Now this got my attention. Having resisted the services of a cleaner all my adult life, on the basis that cleaners constitute an unnecessary extravagance, I now found myself in another of those situations where a longstanding principle was being challenged.
"All the hoovering, cleaning, ironing, dusting and anything else we need her to do", said B excitedly, "for only £10 per hour, and what's more, she will only need to come for 2 hours every other week!"
One of us is in for a real shock here. Either B's been oversold the ability of this domestic hot shot, or I lived my entire bachelor years in relative squalor because of some ill-held belief about the net worth of home help. You didn't think I did it myself did you.........?
tagged: Willem Dafoe
...said H's nursery carer when she handed me his daycare report today. Said in all seriousness, I found this really funny! Good to know H's father is still a child himself.
UPDATE: You can now track not only Granny's exploits, but all the goings on in the bustling village of Pranker's Wycke by visiting Blunghole's Meme.
Haven't yet finished thinking about this post. My friends and I have spent many hours crying with laughter at spoonered names like that of the elderly social menace in the post title. If you can think of some more friends of the Reverend Spooner that you'd like to see featured in Granny's exploits, ask them to leave a comment. More to follow.
tagged: spoonerism, word play, word-play, wordplay, puns, pun
I just found this footage of my cousin k and sister j. No explanation required. I think we should youtube this as it's too funny not to share.
Hooray it's the weekend. Tonight, B and I are going to see Avenue Q - a sort of rude mash up of Muppets and Sesame St. With alternative Broadway belters like "the internet is for porn", we should be in for an hilarious couple of hours I hope. We haven't been to the theatre in London for so long now. In fact I don't think we've ever been to the theatre in London? This is then a milestone - perhaps one that is best left unheralded. We're also going to have dinner in town. I chose Cafe Koha because of rave reviews. I'll write up review over the next couple of days.
tagged: avenue q
"You're beginning to look like a big fat minger wearing a wig", said my wife B. Can't remember what exactly had brought about this ripper of a put down, but it had us both rolling around laughing for a while.
The thing is, there was some truth in it. Since our son was born in late 2005, I'd successfully avoided any form of exercise, whilst tripling my intake of calories. This, coupled with weekend after weekend having slipped by without me getting to the barbers, had resulted in a look that made close friends and family really think I'd let myself go.
So - I got a haircut. "You now look like a big fat minger", came the commentary. Then, when I'd put myself back into a running regime for Windsor Half Marathon and lost a fair amount of weight in the process.... "You just look like a minger now", she said in admiration.
This was a while back - it comes to mind because I'm currently laid up with an achilles strain which I am hoping won't put me out of action for too long. Time will tell. I use fetcheveryone to manage all things running.
tagged: fetcheveryone, minger
I have a long standing reputation for representing the tipping point in almost any social phenomenon. House prices soaring - the day after i complete, the backside falls out of the market. Tech stocks booming - i invest, the bubble bursts. Internet forum discussions bustling - I post a comment and kill the thread. Mullets are back in - the day mine is officially grown, they're declared a style crime. (the last one was a lie - i have never sported a mullet)
So - here's my blog - best write your last posts then.......
